


Lost Friend

by Tarlan



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-09
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:24:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damon recalls a special smile, and the friend he has lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **MMoM** 2012 Day 09  
>  **Spoiler for Season 3 penultimate episode.**

Damon listened as Stefan outlined his plans should Elena choose him over Stefan, and it took a moment to realize that the lengthening silence was Stefan requiring him to make the same pledge.

"Fine. If she chooses you, I'll leave town too." He shook his head. "All this over one girl."

But Stefan was right. Elena was special, and loving her was as easy as breathing. Yet he knew his feelings for her were twisted, caught up in his memories and love for Katherine, and for that reason alone he wondered if his feelings for Elena were honest. In truth he felt confused. He loved Elena and fancied himself in love with her, but if that was the case then how should he describe his similar feelings for Alaric? 

With so much going on, it had taken until this quiet car journey to find the time to sit back and think about how much it had hurt to lose Alaric.

Not so strangely, they hadn't started out as friends, with Alaric coming to Mystic Falls as a Vampire Slayer, intent on destroying those he felt were responsible for the death of his wife. Instead he had grown on Damon, and Damon had to admit that in all his long years as a vampire, he had never apologized to any other being--and meant it--before Alaric. This softly spoken teacher and vampire hunter had slipped beneath Damon's defenses and become one of the few people that Damon could call a friend.

It hurt to realize that he had loved Alaric perhaps more than he loved Elena, remembering how his heart had felt as if it was shattering into tiny pieces as he sat beside Alaric in that cold tomb, waiting for him to die... except Alaric wasn't dead. Alaric's transition to vampire should have filled him with joy but it was not the Alaric he knew and loved who had come back; it was the other Alaric, the ruthless vampire hunter turned immortal by Esther's witchcraft.

His thoughts chased in circles as he and Stefan made their way towards the Atlantic, intent on disposing of Klaus's body.

Much later, he parted from Stefan, needing some time alone, and found himself staggering back to his hotel room with a pretty girl on his arm, both of them drunk. He stripped her efficiently, enjoying the taste of her skin and anticipating the pleasure to come. He could feel the hot blood rushing through her veins, and it took only a moment to compel her to offer up her throat for him. In the past he would have slowly drained her through the night even as he made love to her, and disposed of the body before the dawn. Instead, the scent of her made him pull back. Heavy, cloying perfume when he had memories of Elena's soap and the sharper tang of Alaric's after shave. 

He pushed her away.

"Get out."

"Hey! I thought we were going to have a good time, baby?"

Damon looked her in the eyes, compelling her. "You need to go home. Now."

She blinked in confusion. "Oh. I--I need to go home now."

He gave her a twisted smile as she pulled her clothes back on and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Frustrated, Damon fell back on the bed, still naked, and stared up at the yellowing ceiling. His body still thrummed with anticipated pleasure but he knew he needed more than some nameless girl to slake that desire. He let his hands drift down to stroke himself, conjuring up images of Elena, but his fantasy shattered apart as he remembered Alaric's smile and laughing eyes. He let the memories of Alaric lead him, focusing on the small moments of their friendship--sharing a drink and a laugh, planning and fighting side by side, celebrating the small wins and consoling each other over the losses. He remembered the scent of Alaric's skin, the touch of his hand and that warm smile.

It was the smile that tipped Damon over the edge, filling him with pleasure, both physical and emotional.

Sighing, he let his hands drop to his sides, allowing the sensations to wash over him as he recaptured all the memories of that smile. Silently, he wondered if he would ever see that special smile aimed at him again.

END


End file.
